Today I turned 40 years old with a bottle of champagne and my family on a summit overlooking the North Cascades. We kicked off the weekend on the Pacific Crest Trail at Harts Pass near Canada. The PCT was the first “big girl” trail I hiked after moving to Seattle in 2013. Spending time in complete silence (for hours) was a first for me. It truly changed my life. When I finally grew comfortable paying attention without immediately reacting, I was really able to listen and see life around me in a way I never had before. If someone asks what really led to the end of my career, it was an internal shift I have a hard time describing but ultimately resembles self-awareness, and it probably began on the PCT. I met several through hikers this weekend who started at the Mexico border and were almost done. I asked what they planned to do after such an accomplishment. “Go home and get back to work,” most said. At first it seems anticlimactic but I remember Trent Peterson, a young man whose story I told years ago, as he rode wild mustangs along the PCT. He used to say that the PCT is just a trail, what matters is that we slow down, pay attention and see clearly whatever path we’re on. I looked up a quote from that report to share with you all.
“This isn't to advocate for the PCT. The PCT is just a trail. Get out of the rat race and slow down. Pay attention to the little things, not just the big things, because it's the whole picture we need to be aware of," he said.
Remember when herding animals required manual labor? Actually we were shooting video but the animals thought it was the end of the world and ran straight for the barn. It was the fastest feeding time on record, maybe we use the drone more often?!
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I wasn’t a committed homeschool mom from the second my first child was born. I did quite a bit of research because I wanted to learn more about how kids learn - and truly what kind of environments are not just best for learning ABCs but for overall health and development. I wasn’t even sure I would be a good teacher. After reading many books written by education “experts”, we landed on homeschool.
I really had to unravel quite a bit of what I thought was “school” before I could even begin. I went to the same private school K-12 and equated learning with perfect exam scores. As a student, I forgot a lot of what I crammed into my head because I wasn’t learning for the joy of it - I was learning to survive.
I have come to see how much a child learns through simply living - and being bored! They are innately attuned to art, nature, science, nutrition, play, language - if only we give them a chance. I have truly loved homeschooling my kids, especially all the time we get to spend...
I lived for many years with the idea that I would be a career woman first and someday get to kids.
Biologically, this makes little sense as it gets harder to have kids as a woman ages. But even more mind boggling, I didn’t really even think much of it, like the way one considers what he or she is having for dinner. Actually I probably put more thought into dinner. Being a mom was a complete afterthought. One day a friend and I were eating lunch in downtown Seattle and she smacked some truth into my noggin. I decided, ok what the heck. What do I have to lose? We had our first when I was 38 - I found out I was pregnant the week I resigned from my TV news job. Our second came when I was 41.
If I could talk to younger me, I’d tell her that no career is worth delaying or sacrificing motherhood. It has been the most incredibly humbling, soul-stretching, heart-throbbing, belly laughing adventure I’ve ever had.
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