A year ago today, my best good buddy Choca died in my arms. Many of you were part of my community here at the time and remember it. It kicked off a year of loss: our dog, our unborn baby, my job. This is why I was convinced Sassy wouldn't make it to 2022. Choca was my hiking partner for many years, and because she never said anything, I came to enjoy silence rather than the adrenaline and distractions of my life off the mountains. I think my career in TV news eventually ended because of that - as the silence allowed me self-relfection, which brought self-awareness, and with it, awareness of the world around me. Choca's death was a violent one in the sense that natural death, I've heard, isn't always how movies depict it. This was the first time I'd ever been there for a last breath and for months after it, I woke up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat and had other unexplained health problems. This may seem an odd reaction, but as a child I accompanied my doctor parents to hospitals and witnessed sickness and dying at a very young age. Avoiding death, while trying to understand it, became a driving motivation for me. Perhaps it is, in part, why I went to seminary and eventually became a reporter. I sought distraction from my own mortality while also seeking to control it through knowledge. A losing combination. In the book he wrote about his wife's death, CS Lewis said, "No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid." That was my experience. And I had no choice but to sit through it. Then to confront it again and again throughout the rest of the year. But as I sat quietly, I realized something. I had believed that if I could unlock the secrets of death and finally come to peace with it- the ultimate question of existence that has eluded philosophers for centuries - I would finally come to know God. Instead, after last year, I now believe that I had gotten it backwards. Instead, it is coming to know God that brings one peace about death (and all other things for that matter). And thus begins a new journey, not of the head but of the heart. I'll end with another quote from a favorite Lewis book, the last lines of Til We Have Faces, “I ended my first book with the words 'no answer.' I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer. You are yourself the answer. Before your face questions die away. What other answer would suffice? Only words, words; to be led out to battle against other words. Long did I hate you, long did I fear you.” Blessings to all of you on your journey. Thank you for being a part of mine.
I was sitting down to do some work at my desk/podcast studio and found a duck egg on it. I have no clue how it got there, when, or why it was there. I’m pretty sure the duck didn’t lay it there. But who knows. Anything is possible on this farm. I’ve seen weirder things and Lily is known to bring animals inside. 🤔
Eggs are a staple for our health. So is the fermented cod liver/butter oil from https://greenpasture.org/ which is packed with nutrition for your brain, joint, muscle, immune and gut. Use promo code “ALISON” at checkout for 10% off. Have a great weekend!
Now that I produce food, instead of just buy it from the grocery store, I see it all so much more clearly. It’s truly mind-boggling that you can easily buy a food item with carcinogens in it, and have no idea of its origin or processing, but if you want to come to my farm and ask me a million questions and even pet the animals - I cannot sell you a steak to eat or milk to drink. Is anyone surprised why people are so sick? It’s time to end the war on small food.
And as for the war on cavities or weak bones, don’t forget to support another small business, Green Pasture. I have been taking their fermented cod liver / concentrated butter oil for 15 years and I was shocked when I stopped getting cavities because I had been plagued by them for so long. Use “ALISON” as your promo code to check out for 10% off. https://greenpasture.org/
A couple years ago we discovered wild blackberry plants growing in our back pasture. This year, the harvest was not very large due to the drought. However, it has me thinking, maybe this is the one fruit plant I can actually grow without killing it? When we first moved to Florida a couple years ago, I invested several hundred dollars into trees like a mango tree and a peach tree and an avocado tree. Later I bought a pear tree and a nectarine tree. Sadly, none of them are still alive. I am now hesitant to invest even one dollar into more fruit bearing plants until I figure out why I continue killing them. Anyway, the wild blackberries have inspired me to try that as they seem to be growing here with no care whatsoever. What do you think? Any suggestions on what to try?
Don’t forget to head over to Green Pasture for the fermented cod liver/butter oil blend - one of the best nutritional investments I’ve made for my own health. Full of vitamins, minerals and omega 3s to support ...
1st the hunting ban, next the 2A ban.
Radical Initiative to Ban Hunting and Fishing in Oregon Is One Step Closer to Making the Ballot | Outdoor Life
https://www.outdoorlife.com/conservation/initiative-petition-28-oregon-surpasses-signature-threshold/
