A year ago today, my best good buddy Choca died in my arms. Many of you were part of my community here at the time and remember it. It kicked off a year of loss: our dog, our unborn baby, my job. This is why I was convinced Sassy wouldn't make it to 2022. Choca was my hiking partner for many years, and because she never said anything, I came to enjoy silence rather than the adrenaline and distractions of my life off the mountains. I think my career in TV news eventually ended because of that - as the silence allowed me self-relfection, which brought self-awareness, and with it, awareness of the world around me. Choca's death was a violent one in the sense that natural death, I've heard, isn't always how movies depict it. This was the first time I'd ever been there for a last breath and for months after it, I woke up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat and had other unexplained health problems. This may seem an odd reaction, but as a child I accompanied my doctor parents to hospitals and witnessed sickness and dying at a very young age. Avoiding death, while trying to understand it, became a driving motivation for me. Perhaps it is, in part, why I went to seminary and eventually became a reporter. I sought distraction from my own mortality while also seeking to control it through knowledge. A losing combination. In the book he wrote about his wife's death, CS Lewis said, "No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid." That was my experience. And I had no choice but to sit through it. Then to confront it again and again throughout the rest of the year. But as I sat quietly, I realized something. I had believed that if I could unlock the secrets of death and finally come to peace with it- the ultimate question of existence that has eluded philosophers for centuries - I would finally come to know God. Instead, after last year, I now believe that I had gotten it backwards. Instead, it is coming to know God that brings one peace about death (and all other things for that matter). And thus begins a new journey, not of the head but of the heart. I'll end with another quote from a favorite Lewis book, the last lines of Til We Have Faces, “I ended my first book with the words 'no answer.' I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer. You are yourself the answer. Before your face questions die away. What other answer would suffice? Only words, words; to be led out to battle against other words. Long did I hate you, long did I fear you.” Blessings to all of you on your journey. Thank you for being a part of mine.
We tried our milking machine out today as our goat, Sundae, dances around like she’s a contestant on America’s Got Talent. She kicks us and the milk jar. Unfortunately technology did not get us anywhere, so we are back to hand milking. Not sure if it’s the machine or operator error. Anyway, who needs summer vacation?! Y’all are missing out while relaxing on the beach.
WINE:
http://alisonwinepromo.com/
COD LIVER/BUTTER OIL (Promo Code "ALISON" for 10% off):
https://www.greenpasture.org/
Our goats’ balls are shriveling up nicely. Not a phrase I ever thought I’d write much less take pride in saying. But we are relieved all is well and the boys could not care less. Don’t forget your CLO or wine below - if your balls get banded you’ll need both!
WINE:
http://alisonwinepromo.com/
COD LIVER/BUTTER OIL (Promo Code "ALISON" for 10% off):
https://www.greenpasture.org/
Matt starts my segment around 57 minutes into the show. We discussed the end of Stephen Colbert’s late show as well as the CEO Coldplay cam affair hype. Let me know what you think - would you make adultery a criminal offense?
With over 20 years of hindsight, he (Dan Rather) may have actually been right. I mean, today I feel it was very likely far more truth than fiction. Given what we know about the Bush's today.
Dan Rather: CBS anchor stands by report that got him fired
https://ew.com/article/2015/12/29/dan-rather-cbs-news-firing/